This is the most controversial post I have ever written in ten years of blogging. I wrote it because I was very angry at a specific incident.
Sometimes I'll make what I think is an innocent comment to my husband, and then suddenly, he's upset. It's usually because what I've said has made him feel insecure. I went to the experts to find out specific examples of things women say that make men feel insecure.
Knowing these things will hopefully help you take their feelings and perspective into consideration, and keep you from making conversational missteps in the future. You're just jealous Shutterstock If you think your partner is feeling jealous, one of the worst things you can do is call him out on it.
Jess O'ReillyAstroglide's resident sexologist, suggests that you find a better way to address their feelings.
She told me, "Nobody wants to be judged for perfectly legitimate and universal emotions. If your partner is feeling jealous, they should learn to express it constructively and you need to offer support and reassurance — not make them feel worse.
And if they're expressing their jealousy in a hurtful or destructive way e. But don't wait until they've calmed down to offer loving reassurance. O'Reilly told me, "If you really feel this way, you may want to look at your own choices and examine how to address feelings of resentment, but that's a different issue altogether.
Though this statement may not seem directly tied to jealousy, when you suggest that you'd be happier without your partner, it's likely to make him worry about whether or not you're committed to the relationship.
If you want him to change something, just ask — and be willing to make a similar offer or compromise for him.
Saying "be a man" will make him feel insecure and reluctant to share with you. Sheri Hellerlicensed clinical social worker, told me, "This is an emasculating statement. It insinuates that if a man is vulnerable and expressive of tender emotions like sadness that he is defective.
Saying 'be a man' implies that he is a coward or a wimp and doesn't measure up to a standard of masculinity. Requiring a man to live within a stereotypical box is disingenuous and demeaning. Acceptance of who one is communicates love.
However, giving solutions doesn't mean he's not listening — it just means he's not listening in the way you would like. Heller told me, "A man may feel he is listening when in fact he is offering advice.
Hence telling him he doesn't know how to listen when he feels he is doing his best comes off as ungrateful condemnation. You're just like all the rest Shutterstock If you've been in the dating world for awhile, you've probably encountered lots of men who have similar issues.
Unfortunately, that can lead you to jump to conclusions about your current partner that may be untrue. Telling him he's just like everyone else will make him feel like you're comparing him to past partners, and he'll be frustrated that you're not giving him a fair chance.
Heller told me in our interview, "Women who have been burned may unjustifiably incriminate other men. This statement makes a man feel as if he can never prove himself to be a reliable, honorable human being. You call too much Shutterstock A common complaint among women is that the men they're dating don't call enough.
But if you do feel like he's calling you too much, be sensitive in communicating how often you want to be in contact with him.
Heller shared with me, "This absolutist statement throws a wrench into courtship. Pacing a relationship requires two people to respectfully share their comfort levels with contact and communication.
My guy friend is awesome Shutterstock You probably have male friends that you really appreciate, and you should be able to express those feelings of appreciation to your partner. But it's also important to be aware of your partner's insecurities.Nov 28, · Strong managers don't get upset about the things that freak out and upset weak, weenified managers like the one Kai is working for right now.
Here are ten things only lousy managers get upset about! Things that Make Me Happy (Children's Bedtime Story Picture Book) - Kindle edition by Sarah Mazor, BTween Animation.
Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Things that Make Me Happy (Children's Bedtime Story Picture Book). We think about grief a lot around here – we write about types of grief, grief theory, personal reflections, creative expression for coping with grief, practical ideas for managing grief, and on and on and on.
One evening over dinner, I began to joke, as I often had before, about writing an essay called “Men Explain Things to Me.” Every writer has a stable of ideas that never make it to the racetrack, and I’d been trotting this pony out recreationally every once in a while.
Verb. That remark you made really upset me. Don't upset yourself over it. It upsets him that he can do nothing to help. A lot of people were upset by the court's decision.
It upsets me to think I might never see him again. Spicy food upsets my stomach..
Noun. In a major upset, he took the gold medal. Her victory in the election was a big upset. Spicy foods can cause stomach upset. If you think your partner is feeling jealous, one of the worst things you can do is call him out on it.
Instead, Dr. Jess O'Reilly, Astroglide's resident sexologist, suggests that you find a better way to address their feelings. She told me, "Nobody wants to be judged for perfectly legitimate and universal emotions.